Duke Nukem
"Hail to the king, baby!" Duke Nukem 'is the protagonist of the ''Duke Nukem video game series and a wrestler in VGCW. Duke was, for a long time, an inconsistent competitor, known for losing the majority of his matches but also for pulling off some memorable upset victories. More recently however, he has managed to turn his career around to become one of the biggest stars of the company. He was a member of Team America along with his tag team partner, Guile, until he betrayed Duke at End Game 6, setting the stage for one of the main storylines of Season 7. In Duke Nukem Duke Nukem is the star of a once world class series of shooters developed by Apogee Software and 3D Realms. Originally a series of PC side-scrollers with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor, Duke first became a superstar in Duke Nukem 3D, a first-person shooter revolutionary for its graphic content, pop culture skewering, inventive gameplay, and fantastic level design. Fans soon looked for a sequel to Duke3D, and 3D Realms promised that Duke Nukem Forever would blow them away. ...That was in ''1997''. DNF soon became one of the most infamous games of all time. Impressive trailers released in 1998 and 2001 assured fans that the long development time would be worth it. Behind the scenes, however, Duke Nukem Forever was plagued with development problems, with gameplay features and even the entire engine constantly being overhauled and effectively resetting development. Duke became a joke in the video game community, the equivalent of your lovable drunk uncle with a fuckup life that bought you beers as a teenager. In 2007, ten years after being announced, a short teaser was released. Another two years later, 3D Realms was effectively shut down due to financial concerns, and development assets and info of the game was leaked online. In June 10th 2011, developer Gearbox Software finally put together all the pieces and released Duke Nukem Forever, fourteen years after it was announced. It was an awful, sexist, archaic, and ugly piece of shit. Everyone who bet on Duke lost their houses and is now sucking dicks in an Olive Garden bathroom. In VGCW Duke Nukem began wrestling in VGCW back in November of 2012, though his November matches didn't go too well and he racked up a hat trick of losses, two in singles matches to Wreck-It Ralph and Piccolo respectively, and one in a Fatal Four-Way against Sonic, Egoraptor and Bowser. Season 1:Never Always Never Bet on Duke Duke's career was off to a bad start, but he avoided the sting of getting lumped in the jobber crowd by demonstrating the ability to win with extremely poor odds. He did so spectacularly the first time by pulling off one of the most famous comebacks in VGCW history in a six-man tag team match against the team of Wesker, Vegeta and Dr. Eggman. During the match, Duke's entire team was eliminated, leaving him to face the dastardly trio alone. Even though most people expected him to quickly lose, Duke somehow manages to pin all three of his opponents. This reversal of fortune led to cheers and a considerable upsurge of bets on Duke at bookies all around the world. Following his famous stunt, Duke earned himself a shot against Proto Man for the #1 Contendership to the VGCW title, but his bottle of steroids was no match for the Glitch Bomb. After having his claim to fame unfairly tainted by Glitch Man, Duke's luck continued to run cold when he ran into Ganondorf and got squished for his efforts. The low point of Duke's career came when he lost consciousness in the middle of a Royal Rumble and spent almost a minute laying in the ring, unmoving, while Bowser, Scorpion, Kratos, and Segata Sanshiro fought each other around him. Bowser eventually got him up off the floor and left him in a dazed state until he was finally thrown out of the ring by Kratos, after which point Duke walked away in shame. Season 2: Let's Rock! Being 0 for 4 in singles competition at that point, Duke tried stacking the deck against himself and see if he could recapture the magic that led him to his one career win by competing in a six-man Hell in a Cell match for a shot at the Casual Championship against DK, Pyro, Mr.Satan, JonTron, and M.Bison... and, amazingly, it worked. The match was intense as bodies were slammed through and against the steel cage, but eventually the dice fell in Duke's favor. As he found himself on top of the cage with Bison and Mr. Satan, serendipity struck when a sequence of events led to DK getting hit by a World's Grumpiest Slam from JonTron, Bison breaking the ceiling using Mr. Satan, thus allowing Duke to drop off from the top of the cage, and Pyro grabbing JonTron in a waist lock, letting Duke sneak in a pin on the fallen DK. Once again, Duke had managed to triumph against staggering odds. The only thing standing between Duke and the Casual title at that point was a fellow American, Guile. Perhaps inspired by being in the presence of a man so patriotic that he got to fight the President, Duke fought harder that night than he had ever fought before... but there was a flaw in Duke's plan: the match was one on one. Despite the intense battle, Duke would eventually fall to Patriot Guile, despite giving him two Stunners and even managing to reverse a Sonic Boom, as Duke would eventually fall to a last second DDT. Season 3-5: Hail to the Kings Duke's loss to Guile and seeming inability to win one on one led to him taking a month and a half-long hiatus from singles competition to try to reawaken his inner American spirit. He returned to singles competition fighting the Pyro, an ex-champion, to a near standstill, but would eventually lose the match. It's worth noting that Duke's two victories against all odds essentially immunized him to accusations of being a jobber, but he was 0 for 6 in singles competition at that point, a "feat" accomplished by only two other wrestlers: Vegeta and Gary Oak. Finally, on the 2013-03-19 stream, Duke turned the page on that sordid aspect of his career when he fought the toy Geno in a Newcomer Hell in a Cell match. Duke knocked on wood hoping for a singles win and, thanks to Geno mistiming his patented Geno Whirl, Duke was able to endure the finishing move and, one Stunner later, Duke stood victorious inside the Cell, going as far as to taunt his fallen foe. Perhaps wanting to put some distance between himself and the singles scene for a while, Duke looked to one of his biggest rivals, a man with whom he shared mutual respect. He found an ally in Guile, and the two came together to form the most patriotic tag team in VGCW history. With their sights set on the Co-Op Championship, they looked to first knock down former Tag Champs Raw Power. Team America dominated much of the match in the beginning, but it didn't take long for Dan the Unpatriotic Man to double cross his once-mentor, knocking him out and leaving him in the ring to fight Team America by himself. Although Satan put up a valiant fight, he was no match, and Duke ended up pinning the betrayed Hero of Earth. The duo's next match would come on 2013-04-23 against GameCenter FU. However, all the patriotism in the world could not stand up to the dynamic duo, and those who had bet on Duke once again found themselves in the cold. Duke then found himself getting another chance at the Casual Championship on 2013-04-26 in an elimination Fatal Four-Way with Scorpion, Tingle, and Barret Wallace. Duke spent the entire match fighting Tingle, while Barret dealt with Scorpion. Duke managed to weaken Tingle up for Barret, setting up Barret and Duke as the final two, but the PS3 could not handle Barret wrestling the best he'd ever wrestled, causing it to freeze. This set up a singles match between the two. One Catastrophe later and those who bet on Duke were disappointed as he came up short to Barret, failing to win the match. With another loss under Duke's belt, he returned to Co-Op action along with Guile when the duo took on The Practice. Though Team America initially did well (With Guile managing to land his Sonic Boom and control the majority of the match), the moment of truth came when the battered Guile went for the hot tag, putting the still fresh Duke into the match. While it seemed like Duke's time to shine, he instead tagged Guile back into the match. The action resulted in a loss, as Guile was unable to withstand too much more punishment. With Duke seemingly throwing the match away, many were questioning whether or not Duke was dragging the team down. With even more people going broke and Duke plummeting in the ratings, he had one more chance in a match against Solid Snake. The two veterans put each other through an extremely emotional and fast paced match, with finishers, signatures, and comeback sequences all being traded. He finally managed to pick up the win after several more minutes of non-stop action, and reminded everyone why they should always bet on Duke. After a month-long break, Duke managed to gain access to another #1 contender match for the Casual Championship thanks to his win over Snake. In a shocking swerve however, both he and his tag team partner Guile were in the match. They originally managed to use their teamwork to work down their opponents Captain Falcon and Dan Heelbiki, with Duke picking up a surprisingly quick pin over Falcon. The two Americans would further double team Dan, but mid way through the match Duke struck Guile, causing the two partners to fight. After momentarily working together again to eliminate Dan, Team America exploded, resulting in a long and bloody fight. Despite mostly getting worked over by Guile, Duke managed to land two Stunners out of nowhere and put down his partner to become the #1 Casual Contender to Segata Sanshiro's Casual Championship. On August 30th, Team America would be seen conversing backstage. Duke talked about the time that he lost to Guile in their legendary Casual Championship match back in January, and that now by beating him, Duke has a second chance to become a champion. Despite what took place last time, Guile would show no hard feelings toward his fellow american, stating that, while Segata is strong, America is even stronger, encouraging Duke to kick Segata's ass and take the title. Inspired by his encouraging words, Duke stated that he would rip Segata a new one. And while he would go on to lose the match, Duke would show tremendous heart and spirit, even managing to dominate Segata early on in the match, making him bleed and putting him through Table-san. However, it would take two Rings of Saturn to put down The King, leaving him empty-handed once more. But, due to the amazing support shown by the crowd, and the spectacular displays Duke had been putting on lately, they were reminded once more that sometimes it's okay to always bet on Duke. Straight after the match, both Duke and Segata were attacked from behind by Wario. Duke decided that it was none of his concern, and agreed with his fellow american that now was the time to return to the ring on September 7th against the Game Grumps, this time sporting the Star-Spangled Banner alongside them, sending the citizens of the United States into tears from patriotism. Early on, it looked as if the Grumps had the advantage, but as the match went on, the match slowly drifted toward Team America's favour, eventually cultivating in Guile power-bombing Egoraptor for the 3-Count, giving Team America their first clean Tag-Team victory. After this, Team America defeated Shadaloo, which gave them a shot at the Co-Op titles. Despite a well fought battle, Team Americas hopes were shot down when Duke was pinned by The Angry Video Game Nerd. Season 6: VGCW is Nukem Duke returned to singles action on November 19, facing Donkey Kong, who was fresh off a massive win against Air Man at End Game 5. With The Big Monkey still on an undefeated streak bar a questionable loss to Gabe Newell, it seemed that Duke had just made a deathwish. After getting bodied by the Ape throughout the first quarter of the match, and taking '''2 Bananna Slammas, the match seemed decided. Duke, however, would refuse to stay down and fought back; eventually hitting 2 Stunners. Likewise, DK would also refuse to stay down; resulting in the two continuing to battle in a bloody brawl. After hitting another stunner, victory was in Duke's hands; but Donkey Kong kicked out at 2 yet again. Bruised and tired, Duke would put his opponent into a sleeper hold, and after some initial resistence, finally tapped out. Duke had done what was thought to be impossible; defeating Donkey Kong in a Singles Match. No doubt cocky over his huge win over DK, Duke showed off true balls of steel, interrupting Ganondorf's promo the following broadcast. Tired of The Dark Lords desperate cries for heat, he layed down the challenge: Duke vs Ganon, next week. Ganon accepted the challenge, leaving the crowd wondering if Duke could somehow pull off yet another monumental upset against, this time against another one of VGCW's most feared competitors. Duke's moment of truth came on December 3rd, but due to some unforseen complications, Duke was quickly beaten, eating several GVDs and a Warlock Kick within minutes of the contest. Furious about having his chance for glory yet again stolen from him, Duke would demand a rematch on the next broadcast after consulting his patriotic partner Guile. However, Duke was met with Ganin instead of Ganon. After quickly realizing that The Dark Lord hadn't taken him seriously, Duke gave Ganin a stunner in a fit of rage to send a message to Ganondorf. Looking to get his rivals attention once again, Duke went to fight a normal man in a steel cage match on January 7th. It wasn't just any normal man however, as this ordinary dad had managed to defeat Ganon in Season 5. Duke dominated the contest, delivering over 3 stunners and several other poweful moves, but despite everything he threw at his opponent, both men refused to sell anything. The Match was called off, and Duke suffered yet again because of factors out of his control. Deciding to take the most direct route, Duke attacked Ganondorf after the latter won the opening match on the January 14th show, only for Gabe Newall to show up, chastize the two, and try to teach them a lesson in good manners by booking them as partners in a tag-team match later in the show. To the surprise of roughly no one, Ganondorf abandoned his partner shortly into the match, leaving Duke to face his opponents, The Dragons, alone. Duke had already done all the wrestling in the match and hence was at lesser strength. Guile was nowhere to be seen. The Dragons were fresh. ''Way To Fall ''began to play... And Duke Nukem promptly channeled the ghosts of shows past and his balls of steel and beat the living shit out of both 'Bimmy' and Jimmy Lee, kicking out of pin after pin and returning every bit of pain with equal pain plus a receipt. While the numbers ''would ''ultimately allow the Dragons to win the day, all they gained was a ruined reputation, while Duke soldiered on, eager to show Ganondorf that you don't walk away from the betting table without paying through the nose for it. The next show, however, showed that Ganon might not have been in retreat so much as advancing in another direction. With his usual tag team partner Guile confirmed as AWOL since his lack of aid in the last show, Duke confronted Ganon backstage demanding if he knew anything about Guile's vanishing. Ganondorf instead inquired if Duke was still hurt, and upon getting a confirmation, declared that everything had occured as planned: Ganondorf would now face Duke in a rematch at End Game 6, and an 'I Quit' match at that. End Game 6: A Ballsy Move Things all came to a head at End Game 6. Determined to solidify himself as a competent fighter, Duke threw everything he had at Ganon, diving into Table-San and letting loose a pair of Hail To The King stunners. He would also be on the receiving end of a brutal Warlock Kick, but refused to quit. After hitting Ganon with his second stunner, Duke finally forced The Dark Lord to say the words "I Quit", making people billionaires from bets on Duke. His victory was bittersweet however, as after the match he offered a handshake to Ganon, likely as a sign of good sportsmanship. This backfired, and Duke was met with a blow to his balls of steel and a beat down from Ganondorf. When things seemed worst however, Guile ran down to the ring and proceeded to take the fight back to Ganon, throwing him out of the ring. With the two real americans finally back together, they shook hands, finally coming out on top. That is, until Guile hit Duke with a Sonic Boom, betraying him in a shot heard around the world. With his best friend turning his back on him and the massive amount of momentum gained from his upset victory, things looked uncertain for Duke heading into Season 7. Season 7: Time To Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum Season 7 started for Duke during the Feburary 18th, 2014 show. Duke answered Guile's comments that he hadn't done anything of note with the fact that unlike Guile, Nukem didn't need to brag about his accomplishments, as everyone knew just what kind of odds Nukem had conquered time and again. However, Nukem would get a chance to shut up Guile's mention of him not doing anything of note, as the cigar-chomping warrior's epic victory against Ganondorf had earned him a spot in the Elimination Chamber match for the VGCW Championship. Due to the chamber's timing mechanism malfunctioning, a series of Beat The Clock matches were set up to determine the entry order; Nukem would end up facing the VGCW Champion himelf, Gabe Newell. In an epic clash, it took Nukem 7 minutes and 49 seconds to do the impossible...Topple the GM. Not only did Duke beat Gaben himself, yet again making millions rich, but he secured the fastest time doing it, and secured the coveted final spot in the Elimination Chamber match against Gaben, Phoenix Wright , AVGN , Bowser, and Proto Man. Such odds favored Nukem; he would be coming out last, and Gaben would be out first, meaning the chances of Gabe Newell keeping his title were slim. But in the fickle nature of gambling, the odds again did not go Duke's way. Despite Gabe Newell being first, and Duke coming out last in the Elimination Chamber, it would turn into a very heated exchange. He would put on a tough show, but coming in last did him no real favors, as after Bowser and Wright were eliminated, he would be the third man eliminated by Proto Man via legitimate Proto Buster. Those who foolishly bet it all on Duke this match would lose it all again, as Proto Man would once again deny Duke the VGCW Championship. To make things worse, Guile would confront Duke and taunt him over the loss, and when Nukem challenged Guile to do what he could not and beat Proto Man, Guile would pull off a shocking, dominating upset and do just that. Duke would interrupt Guile's demand for an immediate title match, as he did what he claims he should have done from the start and challenged Guile to a match, one on one. At the Royal Rumble, Civil War would come to America once again, with Guile and Duke butting heads at the forefront. Their conflict was mighty, with both men constantly trading finishers and near-falls. And though the mohawked colonel sought to finish him with an Amerislam, Nukem would reverse that momentum and slam him with a powerful Hail to the King. Keeping him in place for the three-count, Duke would ultimately avenge his betrayal, ending their Civil War once and for all. But there would still not be peace... After the match, Duke reached his hand to Guile to congratulate him for a great battle. But once again, his being a good sport only rewarded the King with a crowning shot to his balls of steel. Amidst Guile's salty whining that the match meant nothing since he had already proven himself to be 'main event material' by besting Proto Man, and the sudden return of Ganondorf calling the colonel out as a 'sucker punching coward', Duke would have to walk away with this bittersweet victory with much to think about. The conclusion he reached was that despite Ganon being pseudo 'on his side', he and the Dark Lord were still tied 1-1 apiece in singles matches (and Ganondorf had jumped him just like Guile had after his win) and that at End Game 7, either ''he ''would face Guile again, or Ganon in a rubber match. After Ganondorf dismissed Duke, Duke made his point much clearer at the end of the April 29th show, interrupting a show-concluding brawl between Ganon and Duke and laying out both with Hail To The King Stunners. The next week, Duke would make it official: there would be a Triple Threat match with all three men at End Game 7. With a great battle against his two most hated rivals looming, Duke would need every bit of bubblegum he can to face what lies ahead. At End Game 7, Duke would reveal he'd bought bubblegum in bulk...and so had his two opponents, as they destroyed each other in a 25-minute slaughter drawn out by the third man always breaking up the pin. Unable to end the match, and with each wrestler being struck with endless double team moves and several finishers apiece, the winner would ultimately come down to luck. The luck was not with Duke, as Guile would score a double-team reversal at a crucial time, and pin the shattered Nukem before the pin could be broken up for the 100th time. Less a loss than the survival of being thrown into a meat grinder, it seems likely that Duke will consider the matter closed and move on, seeking a new ass to plant his foot in. Non-Royal Rumble Record Gallery BALLS BALLS BALLS.png|Vintage Duke dukeorderofballs.png FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE.png